It's Okay to Be a Qwitter

My friends, I have come here to praise and also bury Ashton Kutcher. Praise because the full-time celebrity crier is actually surprisingly smart and witty. Bury because, though the picture above belies the fact, what he needs most is less coverage.

Everywhere I turn, he's there. Ashton talking about his new movie Spread. Ashton promoting the new series he's producing on The CW. Ashton leading the charge of Twitter Nation. So much twitterpation around Mr. Kutcher, and yet my interest level keeps dropping.

The problem is this: he needs to limit himself. Because it would be a shame if, just as we the people were deciding he's not a poor man's Topher Grace with a weird family set-up, his ubiquity made us not care a whit.

One appearance he should not eschew, though, is his panel presence on Real Time w/ Bill Maher. Here is where he shines most brightly, giving opinions that convey political acumen far beyond your typical Chad Michael Murray interview. He knows his stuff; he's well read and his memory for detail is near-eidetic. Moreover, he's capable of arguing a point with enough tact and good humor that he doesn't come off as self-serious.

Though I would caution him against letting his emotions sally too far ahead of his logic. His animosity toward Dan Savage last year (And I'm still not clear as to why.) came across as unwarranted and homophobic.

To sum up, Mr. Kutcher is proving himself to be an above-average actor, producer, and thinker. Yet he's still routinely placed in the company of mindless self-promoters like Paris or Lindsay. My advice is to stop telling so much and only show up when it's really worthwhile. Maybe then an Ashton appearance will be a welcome treat, not just one more silly tweet.

P.S. - In pointing out to my friend how I had grown tired of looking at Ashton Kutcher's crotch, I realized "Ashton Kutcher's crotch" is a fantastic tongue-twister. Go ahead, try to say it five times fast.