Over the past couple months I've been reading articles and seeing reports about the gourmet doughnut industry that's sweeping the nation. That's right, the whole big nation. Provided every state except New York and California has recently seceded from the U.S.
Because, as per usual, if you want the scrumptious, handmade, locally sourced, free-range, touched-by-angels, lumps of organic lard pictured above, you're going to have to live in New York City or Los Angeles. Otherwise, you'll be enjoying the same overly processed, husks of sugar and fat that are available at the corporate donut emporiums on every street corner.
And doughnuts are a stand-in for everything. Not just food (but, really, the food is better - compare the baked goods at Bouchon Bakery to anywhere else). But also, more significantly, prosperity. Wall Street and the big banks have returned to their natural fiscally overabundant state, while teachers in Wisconsin and Indiana are staging the fights of their lives so the government can't railroad their unions. Los Angeles and San Francisco housing prices have come back to record levels, while the rest of the country has seen housing dip again. In December, home prices were at their lowest since before the recession began.
The hole most Americans find themselves in now stretches from sea to shining Nevada. That's too big.
So here's my plan: Let's all move. Big cities are designed to accommodate millions - so what's a couple hundred million more? Yes, it will be messy. There will be a culture clash to end all others. Closet space will overnight become the new gold standard. But it will prove a point - that we're all tired and crazy. That trendwatching is not a real job. That "we the people" are a damn lot of people.
At the very least it will put the fear of God into our corporate overlords at Dunkin' Donuts.
No comments:
Post a Comment